On October 9, 2002, I sued U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft and Drug Enforcement Administration director Asa Hutchinson in order to save my life. That may sound like an exaggeration. I wish it were. But there can be no happy ending to this story as long as armed DEA agents are storming medical cannabis gardens and arresting patients and the people who care for them. I live every day in fear of that dreaded knock on my door, a knock that could literally kill me. I just do not understand why John Ashcroft and the Drug Enforcement Administration want me dead. Since when did being permanently disabled become a crime in the United States of America? I am not a criminal. I am just somebody who is really sick. I am not willing to die. And that is more important than all the technical and legal grounds that our lawyers have outlined in our complaint.
I owe my survival and my ability to lead a relatively normal existence to medical marijuana, or cannabis as it is more properly known, my two caregivers (John Doe Number one and John Doe Number two) who grow over eight pounds of cannabis for me per year, and my children for standing by my side. If the armed DEA agents who have torn up medical cannabis gardens and arrested patients and caregivers up and down California come knocking on my door, I will very likely die.
I suffer from several conditions that cause severe, chronic pain, including fibromyalgia, endometriosis, scoliosis, uterine fibroid tumors and rotator cuff syndrome. I am also battling an inoperable brain tumor, seizures, and life-threatening wasting syndrome, accompanied by near-constant nausea, as well as several other diseases.
On December 16, 2003, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled that it is unconstitutional for John Ashcroft and the Federal Government to interfere with my medical cannabis use that is keeping me alive and keeping out of my wheelchair.
Even John Ashcroft and the Federal Government donot dispute the fact, that I would suffer a torturous death if I were ever denied access to medical cannabis. Yet in January 2004 John Ashcroft still wanted me dead and he wants to take my children’s mother away from them. Ashcroft petitioned the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals to aid him in killing me just because I am disabled and I need cannabis to stay alive.
On February 25, 2004 unanimously the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals rejected the Federal Governments challenge to my December 2003 decision on Constitutionality. I am grateful the Federal Courts have joined the 80% of Americans (November 2002 Time Magazine poll which found overwhelming support for medical cannabis.) who recognize that medicinal cannabis is a legitimate medicine. It is time for the Federal Government stop wasting taxpayers dollars attacking the sick, disabled and dying Americans that are just simply trying to stay alive. John Ashcroft you claim to have a deeply-held moral belief in the sanctity of human life. Yet, your recent actions have caused many to wonder, whose "life" you are "pro"? Why are you not "pro" my life? Does my life not mean anything? I am a law biding citizen who is not hurting anyone. The hardest part is watching the suffering in my children’s eyes as they watched me suffer, with no end in sight. I have to do what is in the best interest of my children, and what is best for them is to have me alive. Leave me and other medical cannabis patients alone!
John Ashcroft you should give up now! I am not going to give up my life to you or for you. I will fight you all the way to the Supreme Court if I have to. I promised my children I would do everything I have to stay alive so I can be here for them, even if it takes my very last breath. I am asking you to PLEASE STOP TRYING TO KILL ME.
I am not going to give up. If you take me to the Supreme Court you better be ready because I am going to WIN there too. I want to live!
This complex mosaic of interlocking medical problems has been a huge challenge for my doctors. Complicating my treatment has been the fact that I have severe chemical sensitivities and am violently allergic to almost all of the pharmaceutical drugs that are modern medicine’s first, second, and third lines of defense against most of my illnesses.
